


Your pile should come with airbags

by Bobsled_Hostage



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Abusive Relationships Mentioned, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 11:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11252097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobsled_Hostage/pseuds/Bobsled_Hostage
Summary: Kanaya lashes out during a daymare, and ends up doing more damage than she intended.





	Your pile should come with airbags

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KuroFae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroFae/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Torchlight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11195226) by [KuroFae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroFae/pseuds/KuroFae). 



FUCK’S SAKE KANAYA, _SHOOSH!_

Warm hands and rough, calloused fingers on your face. It’s Karkat. You’re lying in a pile together on the meteor. There’s nobody trying to hurt your friends, nobody to cut or maim or murder. He strokes and touches and rubs and the electric feeling, the urge to  _ flee  _ or  _ kill _ slowly ebbs. There’s no need to breathe so fast, or breathe at all. Just fold your body into his until you’re positive that you really are safe, this isn’t just another layer of the daymare.

_ So why do you smell blood? _

Something wet splashes on the crown of your head, dribbling through your hair. You look up. He’s bleeding. You raked his face with your thumb while you were thrashing around. That’s his cheekbone peeking through, your dewclaw cut so deep. You did it again. You’re  _ hurting your friends _ , you ruined yet another thing you touched, he let you get near him and you

ALTERNIA TO MARYAM.  He rasps at you from behind the hand pressed to his face.

Yes Karkat

I ASKED IF IT LOOKS LIKE IT NEEDS STITCHES AND I’D APPRECIATE SOME KIND OF FUCKING RESPONSE. I CAN JUST ABOUT HOLD IT CLOSED WITH MY STUPID BLOOD POWERS BUT I CAN’T-

Let Me See

You pry his hand away from his face. His usual grimace isn’t sagging, you didn’t sever any of the small muscles. Didn’t even split his lip. It could have been worse, like that’s any comfort.

Yes It Will Need Stitches

...WELL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

What

YOU CUT MY FACE, SO PUT IT BACK TOGETHER.

The tips of your ears go green.

WHAT?

Nothing

COME ON, WHAT? I’M DYING HERE MARYAM. OR- OK MAYBE NOT DYING, BUT AT VERY LEAST I’VE GOT HALF MY FACE HANGING OFF, WHATEVER IT IS YOU CAN FUCKING TELL ME.

I Am The Tiniest Bit Apprehensive That You Trust Me With This And Do Not Mind Me Wielding Sharp Objects Near Your Face For The Purpose Of Wound Care

OH YEAH? SHARP OBJECTS NEAR MY FACE? YOU DON’T THINK THAT SHIP HAS SAILED? YOU DON’T THINK IT’S SAILED, BEEN SANK, DREDGED FROM THE LIGHTLESS DEPTHS, FUMIGATED, REFITTED AND SANK AGAIN?

I Am Sorry I Cut You

I KNOW.

I Did Not Mean To I Swear It Was A Daymare And

I _KNOW_ . I’M NOT ASKING FOR AN APOLOGY, I’M ASKING FOR YOUR HELP.

I- Yes Very Well

Your modus is no help whatsoever, so you busy yourself rummaging through the pile for something to treat the wound you just inflicted.

OK, WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?

Hm?

YOU’RE MAKING THAT FACE LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING YOU WANT ME TO PRY OUT OF YOU.

Yes That Is Exactly What I Am Doing A tube of antibiotic cream, the same you used on Rose’s leg the last time this happened.  It Is A Ploy On My Part To Arouse Your Concern And I Am Pleased To See It Has Worked A sterile needle and what will suffice for surgical thread.  It Is Simply Not Possible That I Am Keeping My Mouth Shut Because What I Am Thinking Is Better Left Unvocalized

AWESOME, HERE’S THE PART WHERE YOU REFRAIN FROM SPEAKING YOUR MIND, THEN RESENT EVERYONE WHO DIDN’T TELEPATHICALLY REALIZE WHAT YOU WERE THINKING. NEVERMIND THAT IT DIDN’T WORK WITH VRISKA, WHO COULD LITERALLY READ MINDS, WHY NOT TRY IT OUT ON THE REST OF US?

Well If You Insist On Belaboring The Point I Was Thinking That From Your Reaction To This Little Incident It Is Not The First Time Someone Injured You In A Pile

That shuts him up for a second.

DAMN, YOU WEREN’T KIDDING.

Was That Not Clear

ORDINARILY I’D SAY SOMETHING DEVASTATINGLY WITTY BUT-

Hold Still.  He scowls but doesn’t flinch away as you clean the gash you gave him. You keep your claws clean, but you disinfect the wound anyway, which he hisses at.

I KNOW I LITERALLY ASKED FOR IT, BUT YOU’VE GOT SOME _SERIOUS_ GLOBES BRINGING THAT UP.

You bite your tongue. Karkat still hasn’t forgiven you for Gamzee. You know because he told you. Rose has, because she is kind, and because she never knew him as anything other than a boogeyman, whispering obscenities from the vents and playing ring-around-the-stranglevine with your friends’ bodies. She wasn’t his moirail for sweeps on end. You carefully thread the needle and wonder for the thousandth time if this is just a rebound pile. It won’t be for much longer, now that you’ve cut his face open and insinuated that his last moirail was beating hi

KANAYA, FOCUS.

My Apologies I Was Woolgathering

I NOTICED. STOP DOING THAT AND START GATHERING MY SKIN BACK INTO ONE PIECE.

Are You Sure You Would Not Rather Someone Else Handle This Part

NO I’M NOT SURE, I JUST SAID IT TWICE AS A JOKE. WHO THE HELL ELSE AM I GOING TO TRUST THIS WITH? DAVE? FUCKING TEREZI?

It Goes Without Saying But I Will Say It Anyway If You Speak During This Your Jaw Will Move And Spoil My Aim So Stay Quiet And Hold Still Please

CUTE. WANT ME TO STOP BREATHING TOO?

No That Will Not Be Necessary

You place one hand on his cheek and press the edges of the wound together. He blinks but otherwise doesn’t react when you bring the needle up to his face, line it up and slide it into his skin.

You work as fast as you dare, more concerned with getting it right than doing it quickly. From the way he crosses his arms, he’s more irritated with not being able to talk than with the pain or discomfort. You wish he could, you don’t want to be alone with your thoughts right now. The smell makes you hungry. It’s very distracting, but you’re awake now. There’s no excuse for losing control.

It doesn’t take as long as you expected. You tie off the excess thread and clip it, resisting the urge to lick your fingers now that you’re done.

You May Speak Now

He gingerly touches his face, running his fingers along the threads.

Do Not Pick At Them You brush his hand aside to smear more ointment over the wound.

I’M NOT PICKING AT THEM, I’M ADMIRING YOUR NEEDLEWORK. I’M FINALLY INTERESTED IN ONE OF YOUR STUPID HOBBIES, SO GET EXCITED ABOUT ME GETTING EXCITED, OR AT VERY LEAST FUCK OFF.

I Suspect It Will Scar Regardless Of What You Do But Worrying At The Stitches Will Ensure That It Is Worse

AMAZING. He scowls, and oh no, you didn’t realize he was  _ this  _ angry with you.  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR EXCELLENT WORK.

Im Sorry

NO THIS IS GREAT, I’VE GOT A NEW COMMISSION FOR YOU TO WORK ON. YOU LOVE CLOTHES AND BULLSHIT, RIGHT? HOW ABOUT A MASK, OR A VEIL... OR MAYBE JUST A PAPER BAG. AND THEN AFTER THAT YOU CAN MAKE ME A BIG BOX TO SLEEP IN. AND THEN YOU CAN NAIL THE BOX SHUT, AND NOBODY WILL EVER HAVE TO LOOK AT-

Im Sorry

You climb out of the pile.

WHAT THE- HEY, COME ON.

Or try to, anyway. He hugs you around the waist and pulls you back down on top of him. He must have noticed your voice was about to break.

IT’S FINE, ALRIGHT?

No It Is Not Fine

IT’S A SCAR, SO WHAT? WHAT KIND OF TROLL DOESN’T HAVE SCARS. KIND OF CRASS FOR ME TO EVEN COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, CONSIDERING…  He touches your shirt over the spot where your stomach used to be.

Yes But Be That As It May You Trusted Me And I Hurt You

I WAS BEING HYPERBOLIC OK?

And I Hurt Rose And I Killed Your Moirail And I Let My Lusus Down And Everyone Is Dead And

And you hoped you’d get to go a bit longer without breaking down. You know Karkat has his own problems and it’s not fair of you to unload on him like this. That you’re not the only one with damage. To his credit, he does a great job of acting like you aren’t a burden. Folding himself around you and chirring quietly. It feels so nice to be comforted. It’s lazy and horribly, horribly selfish of you but you want a lot more of it. You don’t deserve your friends, not after everything you’ve done, but here they are again and again when you fall flat on your tergum like the big stupid wiggler you are. You hope for the thousandth time that this isn’t just a one day stand.

YOU THINK YOU’LL BE ABLE TO GET BACK TO SLEEP?

Perhaps

ALRIGHT, SCOOT OVER

What

ARE YOU ASKING BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I JUST SAID? DID I PAP YOU TOO HARD? HOW DO YOU TREAT A RAINBOW DRINKER FOR TRAUMATIC SPONGE INJURY?

I Do Not Think It Is A Good Idea For You To Sleep Next To Me Given What I Just Did

You want him to stay so, so badly.

I Could Not Forgive Myself If I Hurt You Again

WELL YOU DON’T HAVE TO BECAUSE I FORGIVE YOU. FOR THE FACE, I MEAN, NOT FOR THE OTHER THING THAT I REALLY DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT RIGHT NOW. SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND HAND ME THAT SNUGGLEPLANE.

Karkat If I Had Been Just A Little Further To The Right I Would Have Taken Your Eye

SO FACE AWAY FROM ME. OR I’LL ALCHEMIZE GOGGLES OR SOMETHING.

I Do Not Know If That Is A Good Idea

LOOK YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER, OK? DO YOU WANT ME TO GO BONE BY BONE AND SCAR BY SCAR AND SHOW YOU WHY I’M NOT SCARED OF YOU KICKING IN YOUR SLEEP? BECAUSE I FUCKING WILL. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO OVERSHARE FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVING A POINT YOU CLEARLY DON’T KNOW ME AS WELL AS I THOUGHT.

That Is Not Necessary Although If You Think It Might Prove Therapeutic I Am Here To Listen

HOW ABOUT YOU JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. He gives up on asking politely and reaches across you to grab the thick, well used comforter.  BESIDES, I’M NOT GOING TO LET _LALONDE_ OUTDO ME. NO WAY AM I RUNNING FROM THE PILE WITH MY CERCUS BETWEEN MY FRONDS IF I KNOW _SHE_ HAD THE GLOBES TO STICK IT OUT, GOD TIER OR NOT.

It Is Not A Competition

AND YET I’M STILL GOING TO WIN.

Oh Dear Is Someone Jealous

YES. I HATE THAT YOU HAVE EXCLUSIVE ACCESS ALL OF HER HORRIBLE FEATURES, IN THE ORDER IN WHICH THEY APPEAR. THAT’S THE ULTIMATE TAKEAWAY FROM THIS CONVERSATION: YOU GET SOMETHING AWFUL THAT I CAN’T STAND, AND I’M LIVID AS A RESULT.

Hmph  You cross your arms in a mock pout.  You Will Simply Have To Deal With It Because Rose Is Mine To Keep And If I Catch You Even Looking Askance At Her I Will Have Your Malpighian Tubules For Hosiery Supports

WELL TOO BAD BECAUSE I’M THINKING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW, SO GET EVISCERATING OR I’LL HAVE MY GRUBBY NUBS ALL OVER YOUR DUMB BROAD BEFORE SHE CAN SAY “Karkat let me use a large number of words to deliver a very small amount of information.”

Are You Really In Any Position To Criticize Her For That Of All Things

OH LIKE YOU’RE ONE TO TALK.

Yes I Am And You Are One To Talk And Talk And Talk And

He shoves you. You shove him back and he  _ tickles  _ you. You slap and push and laugh and get tangled up in fabric and discarded clothing as you struggle for your unlife against this fierce and unrelenting opponent.

I Would Recommend Against Too Much Strenuous Physical Activity If You Wish To Keep Your Stitches Intact

OF COURSE YOU ONLY SAY THAT NOW THAT I’VE GOT YOU ON THE ROPES

It Is Reverse Psychology To Goad You Into Bursting Them So I Can Gorge Myself On The Torrent Of Viscera Which Will No Doubt Seep From Your Face As A Result Of Your Ignoring My Advice

OH YEAH? What does he have there? He’s unscrewing something.  HAVE SOME OF THIS!

He smears sopor all over your face.  


It’s  **in your hair.**

You  _ shriek. _

In a second you have him pinned under you.

So You Think It Is Funny To Cover Me With Viscous Green Ooze Do You

Your head already feels pleasantly fuzzy.

WELL, YEAH. I MEAN, IT ALSO MIGHT CALM YOU DOWN SO YOU DON’T WAKE UP- ACK!

You slap a handful of the stuff onto his forehead. It’s barely retribution, given what an apocalyptic mess his hair already is. If he lets you, you’ll cut it for him later. He sputters in protest and tries to wipe it off his face. His movements are sluggish and he only manages to smear it further, making a mess until you bat his hand away and blot it with an old shirt.

Not As Amusing When It Is You On The Receiving End Ill Wager

MMM, F’K’OFF  He slurs, pushing the blanket out of his face. You think you might have got some in the wound, directly into his blood. You screw the lid back on the sopor tin while you’ve still got the prong-glancenugget coordination.

R’LLOVER

Hmm

He pushes on your shoulder until you take the hint and shift to your other side, facing away from him. He scoots forward and hugs you from behind. The sopor in your hair is already seeping into your scalp. Everything is soft and, as much as sleep is your enemy, you’re very, very tired. When you wake up, you’ll think of a way to thank Karkat for this. And to make it up to him.

Before I Fall Asleep Please Let Me Reiterate How Sorry I Am

‘LL CLIP YOUR CLAWS ‘R SOMETH’N  He mumbles.

You  Yawn  Will Do No Such Thing

He paps you.

**Author's Note:**

> Almost the exact same fic as STOP HITTING YOURSELF, to be honest. But once I have something in my head, I have to write it.


End file.
